Minions And My Hatred Of Them

Hey guys!  Or...girls...?  No, wait...people...yeah, I meant people...um...where was I...?

Oh yes...

MINIONS.

WARNING:  Many, many gifs coming your way

Has anyone seen Despicable Me? Or Despicable Me 2?  Or Minions?  Or any of these:

For those of you who haven't watched the movies, or seen any of these yellow things anywhere (although I seriously doubt it), these yellow things are called MINIONS, and they are...uh...I'm not too sure what they are...but I hate them.  HATE THEM.

Now, now, I know what you're thinking (or what most people think when I tell them this), and yes.  It's true.  These so-called cute, adorable, and lovable minions are hated by yours truly. 

I'm not too sure where this hatred came from, buuut, if I were to take a wild guess, it has probably stemmed from the fact that they are everywhere, and everyone is crazy about them. 

Some other possible explanations:


Look at this!  LOOK at this!  How could you not be incredibly annoyed with this?

• there's a huge mural in my school cafeteria with MINIONS, and I happen to sit directly in front of it-the mural club did a fabulous job painting it, but if I were to be truly honest with you, I despise it.  It's taking up too much wall space...why couldn't they have made it...oh, I don't know, 999999999999999.16 times smaller?  But, no.  I'm not moving, I've been sitting in that same spot since grade 8, and I'm not about to move due to MINIONS

• guess what my school principal and the two vice principals dressed up as this Halloween?  You guessed it:  MINIONS-their costumes were complete with blue jean overalls, eye goggles, and yellow...everywhere...

• my brother has Despicable Me, on his list of "must watch every night during dinner, every afternoon during lunch, and every morning during breakfast" movies

Really?  REALLY?  Dear brother, I love you, but please, pick another movie once in a while, okay?

• they are incredibly, obnoxiously, irksome-'nuff said

Do you see the smile on his face?!

• they all look the same-I kid you not...they are practically indistinguishable...besides their number of eyes, and their styles of hair, and body size/shape, they all look identical!

• everyone I know loves them-if the word MINION were ever uttered in our school, all the girls, and possibly guys, too, would get soooo excited....grr, what's the deal people?!  Is there something I'm missing?  Did they save us from global warming, or a giant stampede of marshmallows or something?  Someone enlighten me?!  Some people come to school to learn and get away from minions you know...*cough* me *cough*

• the sheer number of them-really, how are there so many of them?  Where did they even come from?  Did someone make them?  An experiment gone horribly wrong wrong?  Were they...birthed?

• their voice and indecipherable language (most of the time)

• their eyes

 

• their obsession with bananas-seriously, their obsession with bananas is ludicrous, and has forever changed my views of the fruit.  If I hold a fruit in my hand, and a picture of MINIONS pop up, I'm not eating it

 

• their behaviour/personality-I guess this goes without saying, right?

• everything that makes them MINIONS-everything.  And I mean EVERYTHING.

 

Ok, so maybe I went a little overboard with the list, buuut, my point still stands.  MINIONS are...*insert negative word of choice here*

Ok, sooooooooo maybe they're not all bad if they happen to cause joy to soooooooo many people of the world...

 

 But...what am I saying?  I take it back!  The number of times they've caused contempt and hatred in me, far outranks the number of times they've caused me joy and laughter, so I still HATE THEM.

 

Writing this post was torture, I don't know why I even attempted it...but since I've already typed it all out, I think I feel better, knowing I've justified my hatred of these wretched things...mostly.

 

...ok, so now that I've explained myself, I want to know how you feel about minions.  Do you love them or hate them?